Now the fun part....

Today is my last day of regular food. I start liquids to prep for surgery tomorrow. Today is about over, and I have to admit, it has been a lot easier then I was expecting. I was dreading today. I was preparing myself for the... "Oh crap, I'm never going to be able to eat some things again, I've got to eat everything I ever wanted or liked or craved TODAY." I really didn't get that way at all. In fact, I was eating a corn dog at lunch, and they have always been something I really like. I looked at it, and I was just like... I'm really not even going to miss this. These last few days have been terrible. I've hit every emotion possible, and hit them all at least a dozen times. I was scared to death for a few days. I was questioning the whole thing. I just wanted to sit and cry. This surgery that I was all worked about, that I just KNOW is going to change my life forever, I was convinced was going to be the end of me. I was going to die in surgery. Thankfully, that has passed, at least for the most part. I'm still a little scared, but I think a little bit is ok. It is after all major surgery. I'm back to being excited again. When I went for my final appointment with the surgeon they told me I needed to go to one more support group before surgery. Well that happened to be tonight. It was great. To see all those people who had the surgery already, and LIVED to tell about it, and also lost so much weight. To be able to look at a conference room full of people and say, "My name is Stephanie, and I start the pre-op liquid diet tomorrow, my surgery date is December 23." was absolutely amazing. To look at the list of upcoming support groups for 2009 and know that the next one I attend, I will be saying I'm 3 weeks post op and I've lost ____ pounds and ____ inches already. To know that I am in 10 days going to be on my way to one of the success stories that have given me hope through this process. One of the people who will be able to encourage the others. To know that next Christmas, I will be one of the ones who can say I've lost 100 pounds, and gained a whole new life. I'm ready. I know that the emotions aren't over, and in fact are probably really just beginning. I know I'm going to hurt for a while. I know its going to be hard to sit, or stand, or walk, or sleep for a while. But I also know, that period isn't going to last long. I am willing to hurt for a month, or two.... to gain 50 years or more of quality life. It's a small sacrifice, with a HUGE reward. A sacrifice I am ready and looking forward to making. I may need someone to remind me I said all this in a few days. I've heard the first 3 days or so of liquids are the worst. So... let the fun begin. Hey it gets better right.... I get to eat BABY FOOD in a month!! I'm off for now...