Concerns

I have a problem. I had this surgery to give me a new life. The thing is, the surgery just helps me have that new life. I can't have a new life, if I don't make the effort and changes I have to. The surgery makes it where I don't eat as much, and therefore can lose weight if I try and do my part. The problem is, I have to change what I eat and how I eat, or the surgery won't work. Sure, I'll lose initially. I may lose a lot. But if I don't change, the loss won't last. I am eating less. I know that. I'm not hungry. I don't want to eat most of the time. However, I have to eat. I can't live if I don't eat. But I'm not measuring my food like I should be, so I have no idea how much I actually AM eating. I know its less then I used to eat, but that doesn't mean it's not more than I am supposed to be eating now. I'm not eating all the fat and grease I used to eat either. But I'm not eating the things I really need to be either. I eat protein, but not enough. I eat fruit. But I'm still eating some carbs too. And THAT is where my major concern comes in. My weight loss support group has a message board, that I get the posts in my email. So I was reading the email from the board today. Someone who is several years out of surgery, has gained her weight back. She start eating bread, chips, snack cakes, all that stuff that we all are used to eating before surgery. She would get stressed or upset, and would eat. And she didn't measure and didn't eat what she was supposed to, but instead fell back into the trap of eating what "tastes good". I don't want to go there. I am young, I have my whole life ahead of me still. I have a chance now to make that the best life anyone could ask for, and be healthy. But I have to do what it takes to make that happen. I felt like I was really trying. Like I've really changed. But the fact is, I really haven't. I'm doing the same crap I did for 28 years that got me to be as big as I was. I have to change it. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to make the changes I have to, and that I will end up right back where I started. I can NOT let that happen. I simply can't. I have to change. The surgery leads to many success stories. It also can lead to stories that are not so successful. I want to be one of the success stories. I'm on my way, I've lost more then 50 pounds in less than 2 months. But if I don't change, and REALLY change, in every way, that will not last. I was at 300 the last time I weighed. I am probably under that by now. I will NOT go back above 300. I will not. It simply is not an option. I guess I'm just finally realizing the seriousness and everything that this surgery means and requires. Its hit that it is really time to change. I can change and give myself the life that I want, or I can continue the way I am, and continue to have the life I've always had. I'm concerned and nervous that I could end up right back where I was.