Weekly weigh in

Hey guys.

Today is weigh in day. I have finally gotten to a place where I'm doing ok with the food issues, for the most part. I have managed to get my fat intake to the point it is supposed to be. I guess its not impossible after all. Exercise has actually become a much bigger issue though. I'm pretty much unable to do anything that requires me to use my leg. My knee is shot completely. I had my MRI this week, but my doctor is out of town for the next week, so I can't see him until August 12. At that point I will find out exactly what I'm facing as far as surgery and recovery. I am starting to look at the possibility of maybe having to go with a different surgeon if it gets much worse, and I can't wait another week to get this taken care of. However that is an absolute last resort. I really like this doctor and trust him. My family has known him forever. I don't want anyone else doing surgery if I can avoid it at all.

I found out this week that my insurance won't pay for my gym anymore either. So, for now, I'm on my own completely. They told me at the gym that once I find out what is going on with my knee, I will probably be able to get insurance to start paying again. They said that if I do have to have surgery, that I can get back in for rehab and knee pain. But for now, I don't have my gym or my trainer anymore. So I'm going to have to get in any exercise I do, at home. Jerod told me the last time I saw him to do core exercises at home, and that will keep my upper body in shape, as well as substitute for cardio workout that I really can't do now. So far I've not done anything at home since I found out I lost the gym. I just can't seem to get into it, or motivated to do it, or whatever, I don't know. So my exercise went from 3 days of killer workouts at the gym with a trainer, plus lots of other exercises on my own, to nothing at all.

So now that I've got you up to date on whats going on, here are the results of my weigh in this week. I lost 1.25 inches this week, which isn't real good. But, since all my exercise has stopped, I can't complain. However, .75 inches I lost was in my right calf. That means it has to be muscle I'm losing. I'm not using that leg at all, so to lose that, would mean I lost quite a bit of muscle. Which brings me to my weight this week. I lost 9.2 pounds this week. Now, initially that number absolutely thrills me to death. That is an AWESOME number. The other side of that though, is a lot of that number is probably from loss of muscle as well. Since muscle weighs more then fat, losing muscle would make for a big weight loss number, which is not a good thing at all. I'd rather have no loss, then lose muscle. I worked too hard to get the muscle I have, and can't do anything right now to keep that muscle. So I'm going to lose it. Which completely sucks. So while I love the number, and the fact that I'm now 61 pounds from my goal weight, and only 21 pounds from my last big mark before my goal weight, I'm actually not real happy with it. But there is nothing I can do about it right now. I just hope when I get where I can work lower body again, I am able to pull some big fat loss, because I should gain that muscle back, and I don't know how I'll handle a weight gain, even if I do know its muscle.

Just another step in the journey. It certainly doesn't get boring. It certainly isn't easy either. However, the final goal is almost in sight. I'll get there, and then looking back at all the trials and detours will look much smaller. And the fact that I got to the goal, despite everything I have had to go through, will make it that much more meaningful. Until then, I just need to try to remember that and stay focused on that goal.