Whats wrong with me???

Hi guys. I'm having a REALLY hard time right now. I am having trouble eating even an ounce of food. I fixed an egg with some cheese this morning and was gonna have a banana with it to get my 3 ounce meal. I couldn't even eat half the egg and cheese which is 2 ounces... didn't even touch the banana. I feel full but I'm not getting anywhere enough food in. I can't get enough fluids in either. I drink maybe 20 ounces a day and I'm supposed to be getting 64. If I can't get this stuff in I'm gonna get sick and possibly even die. I am sitting here crying right now because I hate myself. I feel like I am holding myself back. The worse part is, there is really nothing I can do about it. But I am 5 weeks outta surgery. I should be able to eat 3 ounce meals without any major problem. I know I had complications and that probably set me back a little. But my opening is the size its supposed to be now, so it shouldn't be a problem anymore. I am just so discouraged and frustrated and getting scared. I don't wanna die, and I'm afraid I'm gonna kill myself from not eating. I just needed to vent. I need support right now. Its all just very hard to process mentally. I'll post more later. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood then.